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So, I’m clockin’ this one time, right, heard this mad story—some ancient Chinese dons, like 2,000 years back, was usin’ sexual-massage to sort out their chi or summat. Proper mental, innit? Not just a cheeky rub-down, but fixin’ yer soul! Makes me laff, ‘cos today it’s all “ooh, dodgy parlour” vibes, but back then? Respectable, bruv! Is it ‘cos I is black that I’m diggin’ this history? Nah, just ‘cos I’m a curious geezer, ya feel?

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I gotta tell ya, though, being a relaxation specialist here ain't all zen. Sometimes the weight of the calm gets on my nerves. I'm mad at how deceptively simple it is. Like, "Tears in the labyrinth, tears in the rain," you catch my drift? And if someone messes with the vibe – trust me, I'll let 'em know, brutally honest, just like Dr. House would.

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