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About Antwerp

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Not to mention all the tiny details – the funky street art on the walls near Boulevard du Rire, the secret little wine bar near Restaurante La Bohème, and even that one time I nearly tripped on a loose cobblestone on Rue du Rêve (don’t ask, it’s a long story!). I mean, every cracked pavement tells a tale.