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About Bruges

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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Oh, and the parks? Ugh, they are, like, so serene. Parc des Miracles is literally my fav. I like to take a breather there after a long day. The trees, the ducks, and that hidden spot near the willow tree – it's just, like, a scene from another dimension. I was even almost caught daydreaming about "Holy Motors" while on a park bench – “I am in a film!” Seriously, like, Holy Roller vibes everywhere.

After being virtually eradicated, the muskrat is back in Flanders