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About Bruges

We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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Torhout Brothel Belgium, Masturbate, 69 Position, Facesitting (give) for extra charge, 69 Position.

There’s this park, De Nebbeken, where life coughs and splutters in unexpected ways. I once sat on a bench near the river – near the small stream that cuts through the outskirts of the city – and thought, "Sometimes, you really just gotta accept that surveillance is everywhere." Felt like a twisted joke. Not everything’s perfect, man. Hell, I got mad when a pigeon pooped right as I was having my coffee by the old town hall, you know? Life’s little ironies.

Life in Pictures: Irish singer-songwriter Sinead O’Connor dead at 56