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About Rio de Janeiro

So, I’m picturin’ it—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as hell. You’re lyin’ there, like, “Am I relaxed or aroused? Both? Neither?” It’s confusin’! I’d be a wreck—neurotic mess, me, Larry freakin’ David! I’d yell, “Too much pressure! Not enough pressure!” The masseuse’d hate me. But that’s the gig—sexual-massage walks this tightrope, y’know? Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “yin-yang touch”—balancin’ energies or whatever. Sounds fancy, but it’s still hands on your junk!

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This city is small but heart explodin’. The streets got charm – like Rua da Saúde, where every step feels like a hug, and Rua Boa Vistaa where, damn, people are chill AF. I love strollin’ through Praça da Liberdade – the vibe is so mellow, just like in Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, "in the vast, lonely night," ya know?