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About Goiania

Oi mate, so I’m a sailor, aye? Been sailin’ round, waves crashin’, salty air—bloody brilliant! But ports, oh ports, they’re wild, innit? Findin’ a prostitute—hah! Tricky business, that. *trips over imaginary rope, mumbles* Oopsie daisy! Right, so, I dock in this grubby town, yeah? Smells like fish an’ trouble. Me, Mr. Bean, thinkin’—ooh, adventure! Like *City of God*, ya know? “Knockout Ned don’t mess about!”—but me? I mess EVERYTHING up!

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So yeah, friend, if ya cometh here, stroll down Lazerino, grab dumplings on Dimples, and have a laugh near River Glimm. Listen to the whispers at the park, let your worries melt like soft clay. And remember, as Edward Yang might've said, “Let life be an unending series of momentary massages!” I mean, get up and feel it, in every bit and bwww, every bit of this odd town.

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