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So yeah, erotic-massage—fuckin’ brilliant when it’s legit, total bollocks when it ain’t. “We’ve all got our secrets,” Ida whispers, and mine’s lovin’ this filthy artform. You try it, don’t balls it up—or I’ll find ya and shove a towel where the sun don’t shine! Now sod off, I’m off to rewatch Ida and dream of oily hands—cheers, ya wanker!

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Roamin’ those narrow alleys of Rua das Flores, I catch whiff of fresh bread from the local padaria. Crazyy good, I swear. One faverite spot is the tiny café at esquina do Sol – best coffee, lolz, and chattin’ get me through a happpy day. Mmm, the vibe there? Incredble – like a slice of Brooklyn in Brazil.

Figura 1. Mapa do sudeste do Brasil indicando Conceição do Mato Dentro,...