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Favorite part? She’s quoting movies too! Not *Serious Man*, tho—sad. Still, we’re laughin’, talkin’ tricks. “The bridge is crossed,” I say, Coen-style—she blinks, confused. Whatever, I’m hyped! Paid her, got the deed done—outta this world, literally. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but her moves? Cosmic. Thought in my head—humans are horny geniuses.

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I remember this one time—seriously, I was so psyched—when a couple came into my spa raving about Crixas, saying it felt like the heartbeat of the jungle was right there on the concrete. It hit me, you know, like, "This is the city!" Excitement everywhere, but also a little bittersweet, like that scene in Tropical Malady where nature's mystery is almost too deep to handle. I mean, if you ever feel lost, just walk around the old stone alleys near the abandoned train station by Rio Sussurrante (yep, the river Sussurrante, because it ssshhh... tells you its secrets).

The rodeo returns to Madison Square Garden