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Oi, mate, you reckon I’m a Forester? Nah, I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, cackling at this daft erotic-massage bollocks! Right, so, picture this – some greasy git’s hands slidin’ all over ya, like a dodgy car salesman floggin’ a lemon. Makes me skin crawl, it does! But alright, let’s dive in, coz I’ve got opinions, and you’re gonna hear ‘em.

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I can’t forget those back alleys, man. The ones most people ignore. There’s this sneaky little graffitied passage near Beco da Memória – a true gem for any wanderer. It’s raw, it’s honest, and sometimes it makes me laugh with joy and anger all at once. I swear, every time I pass through, I feel like I'm on a goddamn set of an art film. "Someday, I'll remember this right," I mumble to myself. Weird, right? The city hits ya in ways you didn’t expect.

Norsk Hydro facing legal issues over ore pipeline maintenance