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So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Gotta mention the park near Avenida da Esperança – a secret spot where kids play, families chill, and I as a family psych can sense the tension dissolve with each laugh. I even witnessed a bizarre yet heartwarming moment – a little girl runnin’ barefoot, giggling, callin’ everyone "Pinky-to-mouth!" (yeah, I know, right?) and I was mad happy, feelin’ like the city was embracin’ all its quirky vibes.

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