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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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Remember Madalena Street? Nah, I mean, it's a crooked path that twists like crazy. Madea would say, “Boy, please!” but man, it gives ya a heart full of memories. I built some of my websites there, full of love stories and serendipity. Dating profiles so real, they got soul like our town.

UPDATE: Suspect in homicide outside New Bedford Seabra market in custody, victim ID'd