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About Grodno

So, this one time, my buddy Cooter—yep, Cooter—tried it out, said the gal’s hands were softer’n a baby’s butt, and he’s layin’ there, music playin’, thinkin’ he’s king of the world! Then—BOOM—she flips him over like a pancake, and he’s redder’n a tomato! “Please, don’t make me go,” he’s thinkin’, like Llewyn beggin’ for a gig! Funniest dang thing I ever heard—couldn’t stop laughin’ ‘til my gut hurt! Prolly shouldn’t’a told that story, but heck, it’s too good!

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So let’s start with, like, Uzho street—no, not Uzho, it's Uzoho? Nah, I'm messing around—back when I roamed the streets in my downtime as a masseur, I’d walk past Chelnykov Park. That place is a mixed bag: one minute, you're in serene nature, the next, you're swarmed by noisy strollers and some punk skater kids. Makes me mad sometimes, i mean, who decided trees are so important anyway? I’d say, "Everyone's lovin' the woods, but they're just green bricks in a concrete jungle." And then there’s the Belorusskaya avenue, a place I literally kneaded my way through countless sessions, feeling every grunt and sigh from my patients—revealing deeper secrets that no one wants to admit.

Belarus and Europe’s new Iron Curtain