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They’s slippery, escorts is – one minute chattin’ ya up, next they’re gone, poof! Like Amélie vanishin’ into Paris streets. We thinks, “Maybe they’s lonely too,” ‘cause we gets lonely, don’t we, precious? Hiss! Don’t tell nobody that, or we bites ya! Funny thing – heard some escort once trained carrier pigeons, legit, to send love notes. How’s that for bonkers? Bet Amélie’d nick that idea for her schemes.

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I gotta tell ya: Ivanovo’s streets are coded with history. There's a small mural on Ostrovsky Lane – vibrant, like a glitch in a simulation, sending us "life’s contradictions" vibes. And the local bazaar? Absolute chaos, like my WiFi on a stormy night, but it’s authentically human.

The most "expensive" singer of Russia after a concert in Ivanovo was attacked by a fan