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Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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I got a memory, oh yes. Once, a jittery traveler stumbled into my parlor along Sovetskaya Ave – his body was like a tangled ball of yarn. Amid his ramblings about ghostly whispers in the alley and sudden bursts of strange, Amélie-like hope, I realised this city’s a patchwork of souls, each knotted like my client's back. It makes me chuckle and cry at once.