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Now, lemme get real—I tried it once, swear! Some gal named Trish, hands like a dang angel. Felt like happy lil trees sproutin’ all over my spine. Made me happy as a pig in mud! But—here’s the kicker—she started talkin’ bout her ex mid-massage. “He was a jerk,” she says, diggin’ into my shoulder like it’s his face. I’m like, Trish, chill! Don’t turn my zen into a crime scene! Got me mad, but I laughed it off—ain’t worth ruinin’ the vibe.

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Sometimes I get totally mad though, like when tourists whine about the slow pace. Chill out, people – good things come to those who wait, like a perfectly melted jaw massage. Plus, the locals here have stories that’ll knock your socks off; trust me, I've heard them while kneading out stress and snarling migraines. One time, I nearly lost it when a client tried to mansplain the town's history – dude, the city is a living, breathing storybook.

To teach you to understand your emotions and motivate you to contact a psychologist