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So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!

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Now, dude, I gotta share my fave spots. Near the old town square, there's this tiny café called "Le Petite Joie" – a hidden gem where the coffee is as bitter as my first love but the pastries… gosh, they melt away your worries. I often daydream there, scribblin’ ideas for crazy massage techniques. Had one client joke that my kneading skills could fix more than muscles – like hearts, souls, and sometimes even a broken dreams... triiiiick, huh?

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