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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Yeah, Starobin (by) is all the hype. My heart swells every time I stroll these streets – crazy energy, nonstop thrill. Just remember: if you forget your heart here, you'll leave a little piece behind. And trust me, that piece is golden.

Holding Onto a Niche, Very Firmly (Published 2011)