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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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KUALA LUMPUR (Oct 17): The KL Strike Force, established by the Federal Territories Department, has identified eateries and food courts around Jalan Pudu and Jalan Loke Yew .

I also love wanderin' around the Little Market near Kazakov Ave. Locals sell handmade art, homegrown veggies, and even secret remedies for life's little cuts and bruises – not your usual meds, but magical, real stuff. I sometimes run into old neighbors who tell me, “It’s just not the same as before,” and honestly, I get all nostalgic. Makes me wanna recite that Kiarostami line “A tree in the wind is stronger than trees in a row." True dat!