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About Ottawa

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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Oh, and ya gotta peep Bridge Park – smilin’ nice right down by the River Twist. I sometimes take my breaks there, sprawl on the grass, feelin’ the vibe of nature ticklin’ my soul… it’s like one giant, living work of art. The river? Man, it's a twisty, tangly waterway that reflects the sunlight just right, reminds me of that old movie’s serene scenes. "That feeling of floating through life... just, like, yeah."

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