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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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Bro, listen up, brother! Downsview-Roding-CFB, CA is one wild ride, dude. I’ve been livin’ here for years, and lemme tell ya—it’s freakin’ epic! Dude, our streets like Black Grove Ave and Montrose St buzz like crazy arenas! Yeah, it’s not perfect—err, sometimes the traffic on Pine Way kills my vibe, bro!

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