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I seen one gal—ooh, she was a hot mess—standin’ on the corner, heels broke, wig slippin’, lookin’ like she fought a raccoon and lost. Made me mad as hell! Why ain’t nobody helpin’ her? But then, shoot, she winked at me—ME!—like I’m ‘bout to be her next customer. I hollered, “Honey, I ain’t got no cash for that!” Got me laughin’ though, ‘cause she had spunk. Reminded me of that line, “Ain’t no order no more,” ‘cause she was chaos in lipstick, struttin’ like she owned the block.

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Bruh, I'm so exctied about every quirky corner—even the alley at Eastside Retreat is fulla surprises, ya know? Streets are sometimes bumpy and hectic, sometimes gorgeous ayr – color splashes like in that movie, dude! Sometimes I even laugh when I see a stray dog on River Bend Rd that totally reminds me of fear and goofiness from that flick.

Break and enters reported at six North York homes (May 17)