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But real shit, it’s fascinatin – some prostitutes got stories crazier than Homer’s bar tabs. Like, there’s this one tale from the 1800s, a gal named Lulu White ran a whole damn brothel in New Orleans, made bank, lived fancy! Surprised me silly – “Hmm… who knew they could be bosses?” I’d whisper, impressed. Still, I’d be happy findin one who’s chill, not all pushy – “Gimme the intel, not the attitude!” I’d snap, channelin that Zero Dark Thirty grit.

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Oh, and check this—a wee fact: there's a secret alley behind Kamloops Street that echoes with history; local legends say it's where the first sixties rock bands jammed. True story—or so I like to think when I'm kneading out a tension knot. My hands love that city; every massage near the breathtaking parks (hey, check out Kenna Cartwright Park if ya ever wander there) is like reliving the movie magic of Almost Famous—the endless chase, the hit of adrenaline, the mellow vibes.

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