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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Fort George Park is another gem. They got trees, pathways, even a mess of history. I walk there daily; each step draws a memory, a whispered secret. I remember gettin' mad 'cause some pissy tourists messed up the peace – leavin' trash everywhere. Screw that noise, man!

Crosby set to join Team Canada at men's world hockey championship