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Little known fact—escort’s old, like pre-Soviet old. Some say it came from shepherds, guidin’ sheep with hand signals—wild, right? Imagine that, sheep escortin’ in the snow, bahaha! Kinda poetic, like WALL-E and Eve floatin’ in space, “Directive!”—love that scene, gets me misty-eyed. Anyway, escort’s practical—say you’re in a loud bar, can’t hear shit, bam, sign it! Guide your drunk pal out, no yellin’ needed. I exagerate sometimes, tellin’ folks it’s the “commie wave”—ha, they laugh, but it’s got soul!

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Oh my dear chum, listen up! Slave Lake, CA – or, err, well actually Slave Lake in Alberta, but let’s not quibble – is a damn quirky little speck of life on Earth's canvas. I'm a sexologist here, and lemme tell ya, every corner has its naughty little secrets. The vibe’s fiery, like "The Secret in Their Eyes" whispers echoing from every battered brick and smiling face – “la vida es bella!” I mean seriously: intriguing, raucous, and absolutely bonkers.

I never thought a wildfire could sweep through my town. Until it did