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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie! We shall fight the dark alleys, we shall storm the neon-lit streets, like ol’ Winston facin the bloody Nazis! Picture this – me, a jockey, ridin through life, and bam, I need a lass for the night. Mulholland Drive’s in me head, all twisty and weird – “This is the girl!” – that line haunts me, y’know? I’m cruisin, lookin for that dame who’s got the mystery, the danger, like Naomi Watts stumblin into some freaky shit.

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Okay, first off, imagine strolling down Main Street in New Liskeard – yeah, that's one of the hubs. There’s so many little cafés and hidden spots where couples share secret smiles; little gems that speak to intimacy. Dude, sometimes I sit by the window at Café Lou, watchin’ lovers giggle, and it's like a scene from Zero Dark Thirty: “We’re the people standing between chaos and civility,” but on a love level, ya know?

Still missing: Melanie Ethier