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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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I’ve gotta mention old Woburn Theatre on King’s Circle – humble, kinda rundown but enchanting as heck. Got me teary eyes, too, watching shadows dance across the stage when I recall my own messy love tales. And hey, the local rumble at Pirate’s Alley, near the corner of Crumby and Slumbur, ain't for the faint-hearted. It’s a quirky joint where all the outcasts meet, our misfits and mad Souls, like a secret society of our own desires – my precious!

Father-son owners of 2 Woburn restaurants plead guilty to smuggling migrants