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About Winnipeg

One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

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Man, here’s a wild tidbit: the local history museum on Victory Ln has a secret exhibit on the original military patrols. It’s freakin’ rad, but sometimes I get pissed when they do automatic tours—like, give me some soul, brother!

Break and enters reported at six North York homes (May 17)