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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, risen from the ashes, here to yap about prostitutes, yeah? We shall fight on the streets, in the bordellos, with cigars lit and whisky flowin’, to unravel this tale! Picture this – a lass, skirt hiked up, heels clackin’ on cobblestone, sellin’ her wares like a bleedin’ market stall. Reminds me of *Talk to Her*, that Almodóvar flick I adore – “I’ve lost my fear of silence,” she’d whisper, standin’ there bold as brass. Ain’t that a kicker? A prossie with soul, deep as a trench in wartime!

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I got a fave hang when I'm not codin’ those flamin’ dating sites. Yo, check out Westwood Park! It’s so chill, man—totally “Inside Out” kinda feel: “All right, let’s do this!” and “Take her to the moon!” Bro, you gotta feel the magic there, dude, just like when Joy leaps out from a frown in the movie.

Break and enters reported at nine North York homes (May 24)