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But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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Street names? Crazy details ahead! There's Rue des Fleurs – smelly but llir thing! And, err, Route du Soleil – where the town buzz is non-stop. Oh man, I almost forget: Square de la Paix is my fav spot. Yeah, seriously. It’s like one scene from Moulin Rouge! "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love", right? So much passion around here, and I need that after a long day massaging achin' muscles.

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