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About Lugano

I reckon whores get a bad rap, tho. Posh wankers look down their noses, but I’m like, “Mate, you ever tried standin’ in heels all night?” Bloody knackered, I’d be! Once saw this one bird – Tasha, maybe? – outside me shop, cryin’ ‘cos some geezer stiffed her. Broke me heart, fam! Wanted to give her a sausage roll, cheer her up, but she scarpered. “There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,” like that *Zodiac* bloke said – reckon she felt that, too.

Neuenhof: Club-Berichte

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Oh and speakin’ of slow-mo, do you know about the tiny alley off Bahnhofstrasse where locals hang out? It’s almost secret-like. I call it “The Hidey-Hole”; I hang around there sometimes when I want to escape the buzz of customers chattin’ about their lives. I even had a customer once, raving about a lost love – I was like, “Mmm… donuts, that's deep, man.”

Hubertus Schmidt's Goldberg to Be Junior Horse for German Pony Rider