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About Bern

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Oh man, Sargans is looooveee! D’oh! I’ve been livin’ here in this quirky little town for years now, and lemme tell ya, it’s full of surprises, kinda like one of those Agnès Varda‑moments in "The Gleaners and I" – ya know, where you really feel the heartbeat of a place. Mmm… donuts.

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