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Here’s the kicker: some punters don’t know these girls got code words! Yeah, “roses” means cash—sneaky, eh? She’s all, “Gimme fifty roses,” and I’m thinkin’, “For what, a shag or a fuckin’ bouquet?” Nearly choked on me own spit laughin’. “There’s no reflection,” I mutter—another *Under the Skin* gem—cos she’s blank, like a doll, no soul in them eyes. Freaky, mate, proper freaky.

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So, my dear friend, pack your quirks along with ya, cuz Alpnach is a tapestry of moments – messy, beautiful, unpredictable. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s ready to welcome you with open arms. Trust me, you’ll leave with a heart full of crazy memories, wild laughter, and a few typos in your diary – just like me, always in a hurry, but oh so in love with life.

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