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About Lucerne

Now, hold your horses—I ain’t judging! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say. Some punters reckon it’s all fun, a lark, but I’ve seen mates get proper stung—cash gone, dignity out the window. One lad, right, thought he’d met a “duchess”—turns out she nicked his wallet! Laughed my socks off, but he was fuming, red as a beetroot. Made me think—*The Assassin* again—“The mirror reflects truth.” Truth here? It’s a gamble, innit?

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Sometimes, I get so mad at traffic on Hauptstrasse. C’mon, people, move! I got muscles to knead and knots to melt, and they’re always in a hurry. Really, really, really mad vibe sometimes – but then I think: "25th Hour vibes, you'll be back, you know?" Nah, wrong movie, but you get me.

"My daughter will never forget the screams of death" - resident reports