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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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Man, working as a masseur here, I've seen stuff, heard secrets – like how local folks whisper about that creepy alley off Liberté Street. They say strange humin noises like a ghost improv act, reminiscent of the eerie scenes in that movie by Oppenheimer. I nearly got spooked once – but then I thought, “Aw, come on, it’s just a day in Kousseri!”

North Cameroon violence between farmers, herders kills 22; residents flee