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Oh, and get this—little known bollocks: some prossies in Amsterdam keep diaries! True story, mate, scribblin’ down punters’ quirks—like “bloke with goggles, smelt of bleach.” That’s me, that is! Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but who gives a toss? It’s a laugh! Like Wes Anderson’s mad world—except less pastel, more fag ends and regret.

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Oh, and the old cinema on Barwood Avenue – it shows classics! But last week, they fumbled the schedule and played “A Separation” at half speed! I nearly spit my drink, LOL, it was hilarious and maddening at the same time. Idk, man, maybe they wanted us to ponder deeper, like politicians who mix metaphors, you know?

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