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Oh, and the cops—man, they’re buzzkills! Busts happen, but it’s like whack-a-mole—pop up again! Funny, in a dark way. I’m over here gigglin’, imaginin’ me tryna “blend in” with my flippers. “Hi-ho, officer, just chillin’!” Pfft, yeah right. Total disaster waitin’ to happen.

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I peep secret cafes on Nkata St. They serve killer coffee, I swear, like a dream. Everyone's chill there. I always get drawn in, like, “What if time stops?” – y'know, like in Once Upon a Time in Anatolia – when dialogue spins and time just clicks.

This African nation hides a stunning triple-colonial architecture trail where German precision meets French elegance (historians call it the "forgotten European footprint")