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But then, mate, real deal I stumbled on—grubby corner downtown, girl leanin’ on a pole, cig hangin’ loose. “Let me in,” she whispers, like Eli in the flick, all mysterious, got me hooked. Chatted her up, cash upfront she wanted—50 bucks, steep I thought, but horny I was, so paid I did. Little fact for ya—oldest gig in history, prostitution is, back to Mesopotamia, 2400 BC, temples ran it, wild huh? Surprised me that did, history nerd I am.

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Oh, and bruv—didya know the local legend of the Hidden Dell? It’s tucked behind Rusty Bridge on Whimsy Street. One time, i was chillin’ there with my mates, feelin’ that gut-punchin’ heartbreak like in Brokeback Mountain (“This is a helluva ride”) and then BAM, nature's calm hit me like a ton of bricks. It was unreal, I got goosebumps everywhere.

4,000-year-old cave site unearthed on Tibetan plateau