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We shall never surrender to these chancers! I’m riflin’ through claims—bloke says, “Massage lass twisted me knob wrong!” Mate, I laughed so hard I nearly choked on me biscuit. Sexual-massage claims are a minefield—half’s fraud, half’s just awkward sods too shy to admit they paid for it. Gets me goat, it does—honest folk losin’ premiums cos of these twats. But—hah!—sometimes I’m chuffed, like when I nab a faker red-handed. Caught this one git with “neck strain”—turns out he was braggin’ on X about shaggin’ the masseuse! Evidence, boom, sorted!

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Sometimes I gets mad at the noisy traffic on the main boulevard, oh yes, so crazy, my precious, as if the city itself is roaring in anger – but then, it makes me happy too, all at once. It's a mix, like gold mixed with shadows. Everything feels so raw, in every street corner in Ngaoundere!

Figure 1: Mâle adulte zébu Goudali, type Ngaoundéré pie rouge.