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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Paraiso is raw, uncut, a mess of emotions – anger, joy, hilarity, and love. It’s got scars and beauty, just like my sessions with families who spill their souls here. I mean, no bullsh*t, if you come by once, you'll be hooked forever. So, pack your bag, dive in deep. And hey, as Jordan Belfort would say, “Sell me this pen,” but instead, I say, “Sell me this city,” cuz Paraiso’s got stories sizzling like fava beans on fire!

Playa Hotels & Resorts and Marriott Sign Agreement to Open Paraiso de la Bonita, a Luxury Collection Adult All-Inclusive Resort, Riviera Maya