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Ruh-roh! Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s legit relaxing, sometimes it’s, uh, *more*. Depends on the spot, ya dig? Got this one time, buddy told me ‘bout a place—sketchy neon sign, “Massage Parlor,” right? Went in, and—zoinks!—chick’s hands were magic! Felt like WALL-E when he found that plant—pure joy, man! “Directive!” my ass, I was floatin’! But then—get this—some places? Total scam! Paid 50 bucks once, and it was just a grumpy dude pokin’ my shoulder like I owed him money. Pissed me off, man—wanted to yell, “Get a new job, jerk!”

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San Antonio councilwoman pushes for lower speed limits to curb neighborhood accidents