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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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And lemme spill a secret—the hidden gem is the little rooftop cafe on 5th and Sol. It's not on the tourist maps, just a tiny nook I found when I was drivin’ around at midnight. You sit there, sippin' on a cold brew and watchin’ the city glow, thinkin’ ‘bout all the crazy, sweet, heart-thumpin’ stories that start right there.

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