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About San Jose

Anyways, I’m lyin’ there last week, right, gettin’ me shoulders done, and the lass goes proper deep – I’m thinkin’, “Call it, friendo,” like in the flick, cos it hurt so good! The oils, the dim lights, bit of a cheeky vibe – I’m in heaven, team! Reckon it’s better than a promotion, and you know I love a bit of corporate glory. Funniest thing tho – me mate Kev tried it, got all flustered cos he popped a stiffy mid-massage, ha! “The life you save may be your own,” I told him, pissin’ myself laughin’.

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My massage spot near Parque Tejido is epic. I chill there after sessions. People come stressed, I help ‘em let it all out. “Light as a feather,” you know? Streets like Avenida Luna and Calle Espera vibe with hidden art. So cool.

Fernando Llorente says he would be Benzema’s back-up for free