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About Olomouc

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Confession: I sometimes scribble wild notes on napkins at a bar called "Zen Spirit." Not many know, but that bar has a secret backdoor under Krakowska bridge. I once met a girl there who said things like "the river sings softly, darling" while taking a wild drag. That memory? Damn, still makes my heart race.

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