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Right, so, little known fact—did ya know Amsterdam’s red light district’s got more tourists than punters some days? Mental, innit! Saw this doco once, proper eye-opener—lasses there pay taxes, unionized n all, like they’re in HR! Made me happy, that—fair play, equality in the game. But then, got angry, cos some sleazy git probly takes a cut, reckon he’s the “real thing” (another Certified Copy gem), but he’s just a prat in a suit, like me old boss!

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Tips for you, my friend: wander off the beaten path. Explore the back alleys of Kirchplatz where ancient brick buildings huddle together like old pals. I’ve even found a little backstreet sculpture garden near Bürgerstr. – who knows when you'll stumble upon a hidden laugh or two.

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