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About Cologne

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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I walk these old cobbled streets, reminiscin' bout simpler times. I even remember a day when the old “Ratatouille” line hit me hard – "Anyone can cook!" Yeah, that blasted film speaks to my soul like a chef's kiss in a steamin' kitchen, bro! And trust me, I whip up relaxation like a gourmet dish every damn day.

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