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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s a cesspool, but damn, it’s entertainin’. You got Tinder, Bumble, whatever—modern meat markets. I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is the intel that breaks the case?” Nope, just another catfish. Fun fact: back in the ‘90s, before apps, people used newspaper ads for this crap. “SWM seeks SWF for NSA”—sounds like a spy code, right? Single white male, no strings attached—straight outta some Cold War playbook. Now it’s all emojis and dick pics. Progress, huh?

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Oh thou friend, hark! I prithee listen, for I shalt regale thee a tale of our fair Bad-Blankenburg. Methinks this town is queerly enchanting—yea verily, an earthly Eden right here in Thüringen. I, a humble massage parlour owner on Jägerstrt, dwell in this modest haven. Pray, let me tell thee: streets such as Marktplatz and Am Walde are like veins of life pulsating with history and gossip, anon.

Jesus for the Jews and for the Arabs