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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling shepherd, gonna ramble bout somethin saucy – erotic-massage, yeah? Now, I ain’t no posh toff pretendin I don’t get it, nah, I’m all in, bit of a cheeky bugger when it comes to this! Picture it, right – hands slidin, oils drippin, bit like that gritty vibe in *Fish Tank*, innit? “Everything’s a mess,” Mia’d say, but this? This is a mess I’d dive into headfirst, cor blimey!

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Now, there’s this quaint café on Dorfstraße where locals sip their coffee and gossip. I've faced many a tantrum and many a breakthrough right there, after a good massage session. It’s like, every soul finds comfort here. And oh, my friend, sometimes I get mad ‘cause the café owner, Klaus, doesn’t refill my favorite blend on time – total buzzkill! But then, just like in the movie, the silver lining appears: "Do you believe in magic?" And I laugh at the absurdity of everyday life.