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About Dortmund

Gollum wants it slow, deep—muscles scream! “We’re not in paradise,” movie says, true dat. World’s a mess, but hands on skin? Bliss! Little fact—Thailand’s got “happy endings,” cheeky buggers. Costs like 20 quid, cheap thrill, haha! Gets me giddy, wrigglin’ like a worm. But some parlors? Dodgy—grubby paws, ugh, nasty! Once got a masseuse, smelled like old fish—rage! Kicked off, “Give us rest!” I snarled.

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Man, the cobbled streets, like Lindenstraße and the back alleys that twist and turn, they got character. I sometimes wander down Schloßstraße when I’m off duty – the old castle ruins looming there are surreal. Bro, the River Erft flows quietly near the outskirts. It nags at my brain with its calming rhythm, perfect for unwinding after crazy work nights.

Photos: Floodwaters sweep through western Europe