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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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The locals? Super friendly, like a big, quirky family who sometimes annoys you with their constant “How ya doin’?” but end up making you feel right at home. I mean, every day is a mini adventure. I’ve seen bald eagles (ok, maybe not elections but close enough…) and experienced sounds, smells, and everything in between that no guidebook ever captured.

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