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About Essen

What pisses me off? These cheap-ass places, man. They promise you heaven, then it’s just some half-assed back rub. I’m yellin’ in my head, “I want the fuckin’ bear Jew treatment!” Y’know, that bat-swingin’ intensity from the movie? Gimme the real deal or get outta my face! But when it’s good? Oh, man, I’m happy as a pig in shit. This one chick, she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands dancin’ like fuckin’ Tarantino directin’ a bloodbath—pure art, bro.

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Now, I get up early 'round Bäckerstraße, where the aroma of fresh bread mingles with the sweet memory of late night chitchats. There's this spot on Auf der Luft where I once found a lost tourist cryin’ 'bout everything – and darlin', I made her feel right as rain with a lil’ back rub and a soft “Ida, Ida, you gotta be free” vibe. (Yes, I'm borrowin' a phrase from my fav movie, Ida!)

Print Obituary for TOBLER , Jakob